Down With Parasites!
It was the Major who brought the subject of parasites to our notice. The Major is, of course, Major James Dawson Chichester-Clark, the new Prime Minister. Nothing daunted by the fate of his cousin and predecessor in office, Terence O’Neill, the Major has been blathering away since he took office. Up to now he has been kind in bis utterances; not only is he going to give us all new houses and freedom to do what we’re told, but he’s also cutting the jail sentences that his judges imposed on those who entered into the spirit of the rumpus started by his colleague, the late Minister of Home Affair, Mr Craig, last October. It is because the Major has been showing such deferences to all shades of opinion in an effort to get us, in his own words, “back to business” and churning out a little profit that we looked twice at his ‘attack’ on ‘parasites’ reported in the Belfast Telegraph of May 7.
The social parasites of the present day could make their noisy protests, in comparative comfort because other people provided them with a livelihood, said the Prime Minister, Major James D. Chichester-Clark, last night.
Addressing the Mid-Ulster Scout Council in Cookstown, Major Chichester-Clark said the only reason a minority were able to ‘opt out’ of responsibility was that a majority continued to ‘opt in’.
Well, of course, there is nothing much in this statement that a socialist could quarrel with—after all, we have always said that there are two classes in society, a class that produces everything and owns nothing and a class that owns everything and produces nothing. And to encourage our readers to support the campaign against parasitism we will recount the history of a group typical in the species.
Some four hundred years ago James I, in acknowledgement of services rendered, gave his royal assent to one Sir Arthur Chichester, soldier of fortune, to steal vast parcels of land in the Irish province of Ulster. Sir Arthur helped himself to all the lands of Inishowen in Donegal, creating the property basis for the Royal title, Lord Donegall, and areas of County Derry and County Antrim including all that land on which Belfast, is now built.
The Chichesters never looked back, economically speaking, after this initial display of enterprise. Marital mergers and further services to the English monarchy continually increased the family fortunes. Charles II, with the usual generosity of monarchs for giving away what they do not own, gave the Chichesters ownership of the largest lake in the British Isles, Lough Neagh. The Clark name and property was absorbed and the estate and family name of the ancient O’Neills merged by an economically fortuitous marriage.
Lord Brookeborough’s son, Captain John Brooke, married into the clan, as did Dame Dehra Parker, one-time Minister of Education in Brookeborough’s government. She is credited with responsibility for persuading Brookeborough to bring cousin Terence O’Neill into the government in the late 40s. Terence, in turn, reciprocated the favour when he became Prime Minister by bringing Major James Dawson Chichester-Clark into the Cabinet. ’Jimmy’, now Prime Minister, repays by bringing Brookeborough’s son, the talentless Captain John Brooke, tipped by some political commentators as future PM. into the Government.
As we have said, Major James Dawson Chichester-Clark has talked a lot since he became PM. We might disagree with much of what be has said but we cannot challenge his qualifications to speak authoritatively on the subject of parasites.
Richard Montague