Torturers ‘R’ US

Can belief in God help to nullify the effects of pain? This is the objective of an experiment to be carried out at Oxford University and funded by the US (where else?) John Templeton Foundation, which will subject volunteers/victims to painful experiments in an effort to determine whether faith in a deity will make pain more bearable.

The report (Times 12 January) goes on to say how the two-year study, headed by neurologist Susan Greenfield, will be undertaken at the Oxford Centre for Science of the Mind (well, they could hardly call it “Torturers ‘R’ US”). It will measure people’s neurological responses as they are exposed to religious symbols while being tortured in order to “determine the efficacy of their faith in helping them to cope”. The aim of this is apparently to develop new approaches “for promoting wellbeing and ultimately maximising individual human potential”, although how this can be achieved by torture is (pun intended) mind- blowing.

Now far be it for socialists to advocate torture in any form; however, purely in the interest of science and more importantly, since these people are actually volunteering for this experiment, may we suggest that these sanctimonious bible-bashing nutters be strapped down and subjected to a continuous playing of Cliff Richard’s abominable “Millenium Prayer.“

Should these volunteers be heard screaming “Jesus Christ” at the top of their voices, this should not necessarily be interpreted as an exaltation of their faith in some alleged god.